I needed to go back to Grace House
When my oldest son was six months old I injured my back and was prescribed narcotic pain medication. At this time of my life I was a stay at home mom in a happy marriage. Eventually I became addicted to the pills. Although I had no idea what addiction was yet. I began taking more meds than prescribed, convinced that I had to have the pills at all times. I was not only trying to numb the back pain but the emotional pain and depression that I was experiencing as a result of unresolved childhood issues. Although I had three young children, opiates became my answer to everything. I was drinking alcohol when I had no pills and was going to different doctors as my need for more pills increased. My family was begging me to get help but unfortunately, I was still in denial.
My husband did eventually have me committed and my “secret” was now exposed. I was introduced to cocaine and added that to my list of addictions. I began leading a crazy life style while my family was experiencing the pain of someone they loved in full-blown addiction. I finally ended up serving 18 months in St. Gabriel. Upon my release in 2000 from St. Gabriel, I went to Grace House. It was an awesome program and a tremendous help to my recovery. I even worked at Grace House for a while. I did stay clean for about five years. Unfortunately, I stopped doing what I needed to do to stay clean and sober and relapsed. I was miserable.
The knowledge of AA and the peace of working a good program let me know that I could not live in my active addiction for too long. I tried a couple of times to do outpatient and also other programs, but deep down I knew that if I was truly going to get what I needed to stay clean and sober I needed to go back to Grace House. All along my family knew this and they prayed I would do what I needed to do, but I was arrested for RX fraud and spent fourteen months in a work release program. I finally walked through the doors of Grace House on June 4, 2013. Although I had fourteen months clean I had no recovery. I was mentally, physically and spiritually bankrupt. I thought the damage I caused with my family was irreversible.
Fortunately, little by little as my denial was confronted through group therapy, the help of my counselor and the Grace House staff. I began to change and think more clearly and could focus better as I was shown how to change my thought patterns. I have learned to work hard at my recovery and will be on step 12 with the help of my sponsor. Today, my family is learning to trust me as they’ve seen these changes in my life. I am now in the last phase of Grace House and I am working a full time job as well as attending AA meetings, working with my sponsor and meeting with my counselor. Grace House is helping me get into transitional housing upon my completion. I am now confident that I have the tools I need to live a clean and sober life. For this I am extremely grateful to Grace House for not giving up on me and giving me a new way to live.